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Loggin' Out

Horoscopes

by Rachel Yee

Aries (March 21- April 19)

LO: frogs ULO: robots

When the sun and the moon collide, you might want to go into hiding. Sorry antsy Aries, but this isn’t easy to say: You can put the suntan lotion away; it won’t be any use to you.

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_Taurus (April 20- May20)

LO: rocket boots ULO: wheelchairs

Can we just be honest for a moment? All the unnecessary drama you’ve started has caused people to be left at their worst. Time to say the final farewells; this probably won’t end well.

 

 

Gemini (May 21- June 21)

LO: computers ULO: honey

If you think this is the time to shine, I wouldn’t disagree. The summer is just about to begin, and all bets are off. Go with those sugar-coated impulses to see where they take you.

 

αCancer (June 22- July 22)

LO: crabs ULO: viruses

It might not be in your usual characteristic to be in the spotlight, but the more you hide away, the more you fade away. Pump up the spirit and find yourself. You wouldn’t want to spend your summer in the shade.

 

βLeo (July 23- August 22)

LO: cats ULO: clowns

The summer of opportunities could probably be spent in a variety of ways, but if you’re working up to build that already impressive resume, volunteering never hurt! 

 

χVirgo (August 23- September 22)

LO: sewing machines ULO: magic wands

It’s time to stop daydreaming about what could have been and actually turn it into something real. Just don’t be bummed if things don’t go the way you expected. The opportunities won’t stop as long as you keep going. 

 

δLibra (September 23- October 23)

LO: red sunglasses ULO: coins

It’s a sunny summer for you, loyal Libra! This is the time to break out those red sunglasses and get ready for a one-of-a-kind summer. Don’t forget to blog about it later. 

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εScorpio (October 24- November 21)

LO: treasure maps ULO: Magic 8 balls

Adventure awaits you, saucy Scorpio! This truly can be the summer of discovery, the most daring and wild summer you’ve had in a while. Although you might want to keep in mind that luck isn’t exactly on your side.

 

φSagittarius 

(November 22- December 21)

 LO: towels ULO: longbows

I completely understand: the sun is on your mind. Guess what? So is the radiation that comes along with it. People are starting to catch up to the trail of slime you’ve left behind, and all fingers point to you.

 

γCapricorn (December 22- January 19)

 LO: juggling batons ULO: bike horns

Check mate, right? Just when you think it’s the end, you’ll probably begin to give up. But not yet, courageous Capricorn. Everyone’s watching you to see how you’ll prove yourself time after time. Be thankful, we’re on your side!

 

ηAquarius (January 20- February 18)

 LO: scarves ULO: harpoons

You’ve gotten this far with some fun in the sun, but don’t take it too far. You don’t want to get burned. All that sarcasm in your bones could lead to some icy vibes from those closest to you. 

 

ιPisces (February 19- March 20)

LO: forks ULO: hipster glasses

We know exactly what the summer is to you; it’s the time for you to let loose. I can’t say I disagree. Just be careful, it wouldn’t be the first time you let the situation get out of hand.